What Your Communication Says About Your Business
The other day, I was on an entrepreneur Facebook group and someone asked for some feedback on whether or not she should buy a specific course about blogging.
She said:
Hey ladies – i’m contemplating doing the XXXX course by YYY, has anyone done it before? I’d really like to breathe live into ZZZ again and blogging just seems like a really good fit for me but I’m leery to spend more money on a course.
Any feedback? or Know someone who has gone through it?
Here was my response:
Hi [name]- what do you do? Blogging is a long term strategy — it can take a long time to create income from a blog, especially because these days the online market is so saturated that you really often need to invest in ads to be seen (and that gets costly).
If you are a coach or someone who offers a service, you will want to focus on a different ‘offline’ strategy. Even if you sell a product, getting your foundation offline first is the path to least resistance! Happy to chat with you more to help you figure out the best strategy for your biz!
Here was her response:
I’m a transitioning xxxx moving into the alternative medicine space contemplating the platform I may wish to build on long-term. When I asked for feedback, what I was asking for was related to this course specifically.
While I’m sure your intention was well, I do not accept unsolicited advice/feedback on strategy or anything else unless I’ve asked for it. Thanks for understanding, I do say this with as much love as I can convey in a written response. I’ll definitely reach out if/when I need that kind of support.
What’s going on here?
Although her original post was not especially clear in what kind of feedback she wanted, she has every right to feel or think what she wants. I can honor her opinion that because my response was not specific to the course, it was not what she wanted, and thus unsolicited.
I want to highlight the positive here. This woman set a boundary and that is healthy. She shared with me what didn’t work for her and what she wants.
But I’m not convinced it came from an empowered place. Her response appeared purposeful in its defiance. She easily could have just ignored my response but she took the time to call me out. Even if she is trying to ‘say this with love’ her message is clear: “I do not accept unsolicited advice/feedback on strategy or anything else unless I’ve asked for it.”
Sure, I was hoping for a more receptive, grateful response. Frankly, I am trying to prevent her from wasting time and money on blogging (which is often sold as the magic pill in business) so she can get her new business off the ground sooner through focusing on what is actually working. I know her response has nothing to do with me.
Lesson #1: What not to do
And so lesson number one in business is to never EVER take things personally! This doesn’t mean to NOT consider feedback, but I could easily go in to my head about how I offended this woman or wonder if I’m a bad person. Nope. I said something. She responded. That is it.
Perhaps I caught her on a bad day. It is really hard to understand someone from a short exchange on Facebook (this is why any serious conversation should happen OFFLINE).
But let’s assume for today, that I didn’t — because I want to use this as a teaching moment.
I am confident that this person is struggling in her business (and perhaps other areas too) just from my observations of this ONE FB post. That may seem really bold. However, my training in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and psychology allows me to tune in to her language & communication as a representation of how she thinks, and thus how she sees the world.
How we see the world
How we think and see the world impacts our actions and thus our RESULTS. Someone who sees the world as dangerous will act a lot different from someone who sees the world as a place of adventure.
Here is what I assert from her response: She is most likely not reaching her goals in business and will continue to struggle until she shifts her mindset from one of scarcity to one of abundance. Why?
Two reasons:
First, it appeared her knee jerk reaction is to see any offer to help as a negative thing. She is “not open to feedback unless she asks for it.” Well, in business you’re going to get unsolicited feedback. LOTS OF IT. From partners, clients, and email subscribers who will call you a spammer (lol).
And your job is to be open and receptive to it. In fact, invite it.
Why you should welcome feedback
Because until you’ve reached your goals, you will need all the help you can get. This doesn’t mean you have to do anything with this feedback (and it is important to know what to take in and what to throw out), but here is my larger point:
If you can’t receive help and guidance how will you improve? How will you receive abundance in other forms… like income?
If I gave her an unsolicited $100, would she reject that too because she didn’t ask for it? 🙂
My intuitive hit is that this woman views the world through the lens of ‘everyone is out to get me’. And if so, this a scarcity mindset that repels partnership and abundance. How would her response have been different if she was using a winning mindset of gratitude, curiosity and receptiveness?
Lesson #2: Be open to learning
Second, this response generally comes from someone who is not open to learning. She is not exercising what the Buddhists call, ‘a beginner’s mind’. No matter where you are in your business, if you think you “know it all” then you are stunting your growth. You have nowhere to expand and you will stay stagnant with the same dull results.
My intention is to not use this FB post to judge this person. I could totally be off base — I’m open to being dead wrong. But I would also like to use it as a mirror for you, dear reader. When you read this, do you see yourself in the reflection?
Are you closed off to those who want to support you? Burning yourself out because you “don’t need help?” Are you trying to control how valuable feedback comes to you? Creativity and right brain thinking are all about shifting your perspective and allowing space for the new and improved. But you have to open the door first.
Knock knock.
