The Power of No
I love the movie Yes Man. (I’m a big fan of Jim Carrey in general). It makes the point that when we are open to new opportunities, our lives expand. Humans tend to over-analyze (what I call “left brain thinking”), so there is freedom and expansion when we say yes.
An equally important aspect of your success as an entrepreneur is saying no.
Why is saying no important?
It is all about setting boundaries, which is important for a couple of reasons.
- If you don’t set boundaries, you are likely to burn out. This can negatively impact your health. Any progress you have made could be negated if you are sick.
- Saying no inspires others to do the same. You can be an example of healthy boundaries.
If you are a coach or service based entrepreneur, valuing your own needs and boundaries shows your clients how you want to be treated.
They will learn, through your example, to maintain their own integrity. For instance, a love coach needs to teach others to say no to incompatible people. When you recognize and declare your no, you help your clients do the same.
I keep clear boundaries for myself around my schedule and client coaching programs. I’m setting an example of what my clients need in their business. I teach them, with my behavior, the importance of saying no, and inspire them to set their own boundaries.
What do I mean by boundaries?
Effectively dividing time between work, family, loved ones and ourselves is the essence of self-care.
If you are saying yes to late-night client calls or taking every project that comes your way, you are encouraging that behavior from others. Saying no teaches people how to treat you; it says you respect yourself and your time.
Saying yes when you need to say no impacts family time and your self-care. We all know life-work balance is crucial for our health, relationships, and happiness. We need to take the best actions to sustain that balance. You can know consciously you should say no but you say yes instead. So what is going on when we don’t listen to that better judgement?
The difficulty of saying no
When we have difficulty saying no, there is usually something under the surface running the show.
This is why I always say mindset is 90 percent of your success in business and life. If you are saying yes when you know—deep down—you should say no, there is an unconscious pattern driving your behavior. Maybe you are afraid of rejection—that if you say no, people won’t like you or you’ll somehow lose love from others.
Another common reason we avoid saying no is a fear of losing out. We often say yes to an offer that doesn’t align with our goals and values because we are afraid it will be our last offer. I call this a scarcity mindset. Looking through a filter of lack creates the illusion that there aren’t any opportunities out there.
Say yes to saying no
The power of no is believing that the universe has your back.
Interestingly, the more you say no to what you don’t want, the more the things you do want will come to you. You are telling the universe what you want and don’t want, and you are telling your unconscious what you want and don’t want.
This is where the magic happens in life. We are taught the opposite, a scarcity mindset tells us every “no” means a lost opportunity.
I invite you to consider that when you say no, you are opening yourself up to more opportunities that are aligned with your highest self and values.
Start small. Find one area where you are overwhelmed and starting to feel burnt out. What can you start to say no to?
