How Independence Destroys Our Success

Please follow and like us:

Confession: I am a DIY addict.  I make candles, knit my pregnant friends little baby hats and even make my own deodorant.  As someone with a hard-wired independent streak, I walk through stores saying “I could make that” and go buy $10 worth of materials to recreate a $50 item.

Here is the kicker though: I have about $200 worth of materials that have YET to be made into anything and are collecting dust in my closet.  So much for saving money.  All those projects found themselves pushed down on the priority list and every time I open my closet I say “oh yeah, I need to do that” and then forget about it again.

So what does this have to do with creating results in your life, career and business? 

Well, you’ll notice that trying to do things myself rarely has gotten me the results I wanted.  And I learned this the hard way when trying to create real change in my life.  When I got to a point in 2009 and looked at my inability to date an available man and unhappiness in my career, it was a cold dose of reality that DOING IT ON MY OWN WASN’T WORKING.  That is when I hired a coach and started attending personal development courses.

This ‘I can do it on my own’ phenomenon is very human but it destroys our success.  Our lives aren’t working and we aren’t happy but when someone offers a solution, our brain says “LEAVE ME ALONE!  I CAN DO IT MYSELF!!!” and we give some sort of excuse why we just need more time to ‘figure it out’.  Because, you know, reading one more book on top of the 50 you own will be the one to make the difference.  How is that going for you?

What’s really going on is fear.

We are afraid to be vulnerable.  We are afraid that we actually may succeed.  We are afraid that we will invest in ourselves and it won’t work (so of course it seems logical to just stay where we are because at least we KNOW what that suffering is like.  This is crazy pants!).

I wouldn’t be where I am right now if it wasn’t for asking for help and support.  When left to our own devices we procrastinate, drop the ball, and struggle to reach the finish line (Sound familiar?).

I invite you to look at where you have been stubbornly throwing an ‘independence tantrum’ around the areas of life that aren’t working for you.   And for the sake of your dreams that are not being fulfilled and the fullest you that is hiding- TAKE THE HELP!

To your greatness,


p.s.  Ready to stop trying to figure out how to create a profitable business on your own?  Schedule a complimentary ‘breakthrough session’ HERE.


Recommended Posts